


Crimson Sky

by Emotrashness



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, pls read the notes at the start thanks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 20:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8682193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emotrashness/pseuds/Emotrashness
Summary: Death and pain. And eventually - ghost boyfriends.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Quick notes:  
> \- I've been writing on my own for years, but this is my first fanfic.  
> \- English is not my first language, any horrible mistakes you find, let me know.  
> \- I know the style is little wonky, but try it out - I personally get used to it pretty quick.  
> \- Frank isn't here yet. He'll come in later.  
> \- Will upload very slowly. I'm sorry, I simply don't have the time and energy.  
> \- I have no knowledge of how cancer actually works. I have been fortunate enough not to personally be close to anyone suffering from it. I'm aware that my writing is most likely very faulty, but if it's actually hurtful, please let me know and I will edit/take the work down.

That night the setting sun looked more beautiful than ever. Gerard laid in his bed, watching the last rays of sun find their way through the blinds and land on the bedroom floor. The whole room seemed to bathe in crimson red hue, and Gerard wanted to get up and open the blinds, he really did. But he was exhausted, and couldn't gather the energy to stand up and walk over to the window.

Not long after Gerard had reluctantly settled to his faith of missing the sunset, there was a faint knock on the door. "Yeah", Gerard answered, knowing very well that the only person coming to his room at this hour would be Mikey. And right he was. Very shortly after his answer, his little brother stepped inside. "Hey, you still up?" Mikey asked quietly. "Yeah", Gerard answered, not daring to disturb the universe by talking any louder. Gerard took a second in his mind to thank every god he had ever heard of for his brother's arrival. "Can you open the blinds?", he whispered, making an effort to turn to look at the kid. A chuckle from Mikey made it clear that he was questioning his brother's sanity - Gerard very rarely, if ever, opened the blinds, but Mikey decided to fulfill his brother's request anyway.

With the warm light painting every surface of the room, Gerard felt immediately more comfortable. He liked the darkness, sure, but no one could deny the beauty of a bright red sky. He didn't even mind it when Mikey crashed onto his bed without asking if it was okay for him to stay. Didn't matter, Gerard wouldn't have told him to leave. He couldn't.

It wasn't a secret why Mikey came to see Gerard almost every night now. Gerard's condition had been getting rapidly worse in the past month. Breathing had become a task and he was no longer able to get out of the bed without help. A doctor had visited him only few days ago, bearing the same news that no longer baffled him, bringing only a sense of disappointment and desperation to his loved ones. There was nothing to do. Chemotherapy had done nothing but tried to kill him faster by damaging his organs, Gerard's body wasn't answering to any other treatments, and there weren't exactly too many organ donations just laying around. Gerard no longer bothered to keep up the hope, though his parents still did their best. It pained him. Even with the pain the cancer caused him every day, the greatest agony was to see his family still hoping, still praying for a miracle.

Mikey had been crying. The aftermath of tears was still present on his face. Gerard didn't ask, for he didn't need to. He knew it had been because of him. It always was, these days. No sorrow ever seemed to bring Mikey down until Gerard had been diagnosed. Even after that, Mikey kept to himself for a long time. It was only after the doctors told them that the chemo was doing more damage than good that Mikey broke down. He came to Gerard's room that night, bawling his eyes out, crying about how scared he was, how he didn't want Gerard to leave him. Gerard had spend hours calming down his younger brother, assuring that things would turn out alright. He hated lying to him, but had no choice. How could he tell his little brother that his time was running out and Mikey would just have to deal with it? That's not something you say out loud, no. You smile, you assure everyone that you will kick the cancer's ass, and it is only after you have locked yourself away from the crowd that you're allowed to admit that everything has gone to shit.

The world was slowly turning dark as the sun crept lower and lower, hiding itself behind the horizon. The silence neither of the brothers cared to cut was causing Gerard's mind to drift, and he was feeling very out of place. The strange warmth was wrapping it's arms around him, and Gerard assumed it was the familiarity of the darkness that brought him such peace. Mikey's breathing had calmed down, Gerard could hear it. It made him smile, knowing that at least for a while Mikey was relaxed and resting, maybe he even felt the same peacefulness that was filling Gerard's often so clouded mind. Gerard closed his eyes and filled his ill lungs with air as best as he could. "Good night Mikes", he said, letting his breath slowly drift out of him.  
"Good night Gerard."

 

The morning dew came with pain greater than Mikey had ever been able to imagine. He had feared the day Gerard would die, and the thought alone had ripped him in pieces every time. But God, nothing could have prepared him for the reality, when he woke up the next morning to find his brother laying next to him, cold, lifeless, and peaceful.

He yelled his lungs out. He was shouting Gerard's name, and his throat hurt, and the absence of an answer, even a reaction, shattered his heart. By the time his parent's got in the room, no explanation was needed. No one could have missed the tone of desperation in his broken voice when he tried to wake his brother.

Gerard stood in the corner of the room, watching all of this, and his chest was hurting for the sight in front of him. His mother with her arms around Mikey, trying to hold in her tears, so she could be strong for the child seeking for shelter from the pain, only to fail miserably. His father, calling an ambulance, explaining the situation. Though there was no need to hurry, for Gerard was already gone. And his own lifeless body on the bed, with messy hair, bruises all over. It had been so long since Gerard had bothered to take an actual look in the mirror that seeing himself in the condition he was in made him question how on Earth had his family been able to be around him. He looked dead. Well, it might had something to do with the fact that he indeed was.

It had taken him a while to understand the situation, and even now the disbelief was still very much present in his mind. Finding himself waking up in the middle of the night, with no ache in his chest, no pain in his body, not feeling the exhaustion that had been eating him alive for months. Guess it had finally caught up to Gerard and done exactly what it had been set to do - just swallowed him whole.

Everyone had told him there would be no pain in death. And at first it had been the truth, sure. His body no longer ached, for he didn't have one. Gerard could still see himself, but he was not made of any matter. He was nothing but pure energy at this point. And with the body lagging of any consistence, he was quick to notice his inability to do, well, anything at all. He had tried to wake Mikey up, to call him out, to grap him and shake him awake. He couldn't. He didn't make any sound at all. He had not been able to touch his brother. Nut unlike in the horror movies, it wasn't like Gerard's hand had simply flown through, and that had confused him. He wasn't able to touch Mikey at all. There was a barrier, something comparable to a glass shell, keeping him from what he would call the reality. Gerard had laid his hand on Mikey's shoulder, only to find that whatever his hand rested on was not his brother's shirt, but something that lagged any texture, temperature or any kind of feel at all. He was abandoned, locked outside while standing right next to his family.

Not knowing what to do or where to go, Gerard had settled to standing aside, watching over his sleeping brother next to his own body. He knew Mikey would eventually wake up and be the one to find him, and at that moment the pain had returned. Even without the body, Gerard discovered that his soul was still very much able to hurt. He was no longer sleepy nor did his feet get tired from standing, but his heart was still breakable, and god, was it in pieces too, when the morning eventually came around to reveal the nightmare his young brother had so terribly feared for.

 

In a matter of days Gerard found himself standing beside his little brother, dressed in black suit, with eyes so bloodshot not even a cocaine addict with a decade worth of junk in his veins could've outdone him. Standing in front of a mirror, Mikey tried his best to tie his tie, something he had no knowledge how to do - Gerard had always helped him with it, if the situation had required him to wear such posh accessory. And seeing his little brother struggle with the task in hand, Gerard cursed every time he had ever been annoyed to help his brother, for he would've given anything to be able to help him now. After several minutes of hopeless fumbling, the tie fell on the floor. With slumping shoulders, Mikey turned around and walked out of the room, leaving the tie on the bedroom floor. It wasn't like Gerard minded whether he had one or not.

Gerard didn't necessarily need a car to get anywhere. When you don't have a body, you can go wherever you want or to anyone you want by a wish. You simply had to sense the energy of the place or the person you hoped to see, and the world would turn around you. Gerard had visited couple of his friends to see how they were doing, but the sight was never any happier than at home, so he didn't stay for too long. He also found himself wanting to return to Mikey as soon as possible. Even though he knew there was nothing he could do for him anymore, he wanted to stay by him, to protect him. It was rather ironic, Gerard knew, that no matter how he swore to keep his little brother safe and happy, he himself turned out to be the one to hurt him the worst.

Gerard climbed at the backseat of the car next to Mikes as his family started their short drive to the local church, were Gerard's funeral would take place. For the last days Gerard had tortured himself trying to decide whether to be present in his own funeral. The idea sounded comical to him, but he was very much aware of the amount of crying and heartache there would be, and only he would be to blame for it. In the end however, he knew he had no choice but to be there. His family and friends were leaving him their last goodbyes, and after causing them the agony they were suffering from right at this time, Gerard felt he owed them that much. To be there and hear their last prayers for his well being.

The car ride was quiet. You could've heard a pin drop, even if it had landed on the rubber mat on the car floor. The only sound were muffled cries of his mother, again failing miserably to stay strong for Mikey's sake. Gerard would give her an A+ for bothering to even try. As the car arrived at the church, there were already punch of family members, dressed in all black, waiting for them. Gerard also saw his very small circle of friends standing near the church stairs.

Gerard's parent climbed out of the car, and several relatives approached, most likely to give their condolences. But no word had come out of their mouth before all the chatter suddenly died down and it seemed like the world had stopped on it's tracks. As Mikey had stepped out of the car, it had downed to everyone - little Michael was on his own now. That awkward, quiet child who always used to hang onto his older brothers sleeve when he had no courage to speak a word when left alone, no longer had anyone to hide behind. Sure, his parents were right there, but everyone knew it was not the same - that Mikey was no longer the same. It was glowing off of him. He was radiating with sadness, anxiety, anger and disgust. As if in a blink of an eye he had started to loathe the whole universe for what it had done to Gerard, what it had done to himself. Gerard had no choice but to watch how the energy Mikey had been beaming until then was drowned in fury stronger than Gerard could've ever imagined his little brother being capable of.

The ceremony was small. The priest did the talking with apathy in his voice. He must have done this hundreds of times, it didn't seem to matter to him the slightest. Gerard didn't blame him. After the blessings had been given and sad hymns, the ones Gerard had always refused to join in, had been sung, Gerard watched his coffin being picked up by his dad and few other relatives, with the rest of the funeral guests walking out behind them. Gerard joined the crowd, latching to Mikey's side. The coffin was carried to the graveyard near the church, where a hole in the ground was waiting. The wood coffin was lowered in the ground, and people threw flowers on top, saying their last goodbyes. Well, almost everyone did, Gerard noticed. With his now openly wailing mother and crying father on his side, Mikey stayed silent.

Ride home was no louder than the earlier. Gerard saw his mother trying to collect herself the best she could, knowing that few relatives were coming over for a coffee after the church ceremony. Gerard had heard his friends talking, and they had decided to have their own get together somewhere else. After all, very few of them had ever met Gerard's parents, and they felt like meeting them now was just pointless - after all, they had given their condolences, and that was the best they could do now that their own souls were just as broken. Gerard wished he could've joined his friend, for he was sure they were going to remember him in laughs and jokes rather than tears, but the worry of Mikey and his sudden change of presence forced Gerard to stay by his younger brother.

Arriving home made Mikey everything but calm. With their father asking Mikey for help to set the table before guests arrived, he was met with despise. With mutter of anger and aggression, Mikey stormed back to his own room, locking the door behind him. No guests saw him that evening, and neither did his parents, who after attempting to check on him and seeing it was pointless, returned in their own territories to lick their own wounds.

Gerard stood in the corner of the room, watching. Mikey would lay in bed, then jump up, walk around the room only to crash on to the covers again. There was no sound. No tears. Only wrath that Gerard could feel filling the room. Hours passed, and Gerard stood silent, hopeless, guarding.

Gerard had always hated the saying "calm before storm". He always felt like it took away the joy and pleasure and replaced it with fear of what was ahead. But right now he had no other words in his mind, when Mikey finally broke the long lasting silence, by speaking his name.

"Gerard?"

It was so quiet, Gerard could have missed it. But then again, what would've been the difference? Gerard was unable to answer, whether he heard his brother or not. For a second it seemed like facing nothing but silence discouraged Mikey to shut back in again. But Gerard wasn't surprised, when his little brother decided to fight against the absence of answer, and keep talking. When it came to the two of them, Mikey had always been working hard to keep the connection between them. For that Gerard was grateful, while regretting failing to do the same. Given second chance, he would make greater effort to be a good brother, a friend to Mikey. It was the least his little brother would've deserved.

"I don't know if you can hear me. I've tried to think about this - about where you go if this happens. I still don't know what I believe in, and I sure don't know the truth. But if you do hear me..."

Mikey swallowed a lump from his throat.

"... I fucking hate you. I fucking told you not to leave me and you fucking promised. So if this ever gets to you, I want you to know that I hate you."

With the words finally out of him, Mikey rolled onto his side, pulled up the covers, and went to sleep. For the words of venom had been eating him alive, and after they were set free, he was able to rest for the first time since the crimson sky.

But now Gerard was awake, and he heard everything, and he broke.


End file.
